February 14th 2006

So I'm riding on the highway around noon Feb 14th, today, Valentine's Day - for which I have no actual romantic plans, but it's cool cuz I'm thinking about all the errands I have to run before the clock strikes 5 and I'm not really thinking about Singles Awareness Day to any real degree, but nevertheless, definitely not enjoying all of the incessant reminders on the radio, in the grocery store, etc. And I'm behind one of those tow trucks towing another truck - you know, the ones that you always ride behind and look at kind of warily and think 'is this safe?' as the truck being towed sways dangerously each time the tow truck hits a pothole or some other road obstruction, but you figure, these trucks are allowed on the road all the time, so it must be alright. Well, this particular tow truck was driving too slowly for this already-rushing-sister so I put on the left turn signal, and changed lanes and the instant - the INSTANT I did - before I was even completely out of the lane - I watched a big blue tarp fly off the back of the truck being towed, and dance defiantly off to my right (after quickly shaking itself free of the obviously insubstantial strings and rope that were tying it down), followed immediately by a huge tire speeding, with reckless abandon, toward the exact position where my windshield had just been. And I thought to myself at once, Today is going to be a Wonderful Day.

Because it's always a wonderful day when you avoid having a tire fly through your windshield at 60 mph, and dodge a big blue tarp that's anxious to eradicate any hope of a clear view of the highway that you're driving down with no seatbelt on - silly girl.

And, on the more serious side, it reminded me that my Lord is always looking out for me and thinking of me. Which is always wonderful, but especially good to know today. It was like it was His way of dialing me up and saying 'just thinking of you' and wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day, like a loving Father does. When asked by a friend of mine a week or so ago what I’d want if I could have anything for Valentine’s Day, I responded “To be thought of” and I think I got my wish.

so now I'm in a good enough mood to say it -
Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone:-)

Stupid Love Style Test

I took that damn personality/love style test four times (the one that said I now have a 'Sensible love style' because I had my heart-broken), trying to prove to it that I am indeed a Romantic and no roller-coaster ride college-relationship took that from me. Do you know it told me all four times that I am Sensible? (And had the nerve to try to remind me that I must've had my heart-broken. Yes i know. I didn't forget. Thanks.) I was even trying to answer questions differently that I thought would give me more 'romance' points, but it still kept telling me I'm Sensible. Sensible's boring. I've decided. I'm a Romantic, damnit. And I'll live and die as one. I don't care if it's not safe; you can't live your whole life being 'safe'. I'm decided. So shouldn't that know-it-all test be able to pick that up?

After about the third or fourth time, I started to realize which questions were losing the battle for me. Things like "He's not the right person unless I feel constant euphoria around him," "I feel comfortable opening up to romantic partners". These are both examples of things I didn't want to go to extremes on. Yea, you've gotta feel good around your soul mate - but I mean, come on. I couldn't genuinely say that I think you have to feel euphoria all the time. This is a relationship with another human being we're talking about, not a trip on Ecstasy. And that means sometimes you're going to have a disagreement, or need time to yourself. Not kicking and screaming and throwing stuff. But not the emotional equivalent of a mood-enhancing drug. And yea, you've got to be able to open up and trust your true love, but you can't go around treating everyone like they qualify. Not everyone deserves to know all your personal business. I'll admit it. I have been guilty of being an emotional slut (a term I adopted from 'Sex and the City' ;)) - I told too much too soon. It causes unecessary complications (just like doing too much of other stuff too soon), and I think it's a good thing to avoid. It's true that when I was younger I probably would've answered these questions differently. Does that mean I'm not Romantic anymore? No. It means I'm not in a state of perpetual emotional infancy. People learn and grow (at least they should). Does it mean that I've undergone some irrevocable damage at the hands of a careless lover? No. It means that I've learned from it. We're talking about Romantics here - not idiots. So, yes, I've outgrown my teenage naiveté, my childish innocence, my belief in the tooth-fairy. But somehow I still maintain a sense of wonder, a sort of knowledgeable-innocence (that comes from a combination of negative experiences and hope), and a solid belief in real-life fairy tales.

I'm a Sensible Romantic. And that's real.


Love Style Test - I Scoff at Thee.