Is it sexy? Is it sexy?!

In my new role playing the unhappy stripper, Agony Delight, I find myself wondering - as I do body rolls and dance down to the ground - is it sexy? Or do I look like a fool. The answer is, I probably look sexy to some, and like a fool to others. Attractiveness is all so relative. And, not to say I didn't realize it before, but I really see as I've gotten older that attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. (Beauty, I still feel, is something more undeniable. In addition to my personal belief that you have to have more than looks to be beautiful, I believe that even if you aren't attracted to someone 'beautiful' you still cannot help but acknowledge that beauty.) Honestly, personality and carriage can greatly improve or completely annihilate your chances with someone. I offer the example of a situation involving a friend of mine. A guy confessed to my friend that he had a crush no her, and asked her out. As she so accurately put it (I completely understood what she was saying), she recognized that he was "empirically attractive" but conveyed that she had no actual attraction to him. And similarly, I can't tell you how many times I've come to see someone who I first recognized as not "traditionally attractive" as quite the object of my desire....

But, yea...I hope the audience is kind.

"Does Hell go with no?"

(i get it now, stan)

yes, yes it does. In order to answer the following questions:

Am I ready for children of my own? (Baby-sitting has shown this to me)
Do I feel bad about walking off from that 2 ft. tall boy at the club who tried to dance with me, and saying "I can't do this."?
Do I appreciate being dropped by one of my closest friends for no reason?
Do I enjoy the endless procession of stupid, unattractive, and/or immature boys I come across?

And would I rather be alone?

Oh sorry, that last one - that's a hell yes.

"You think it's hard trying to find a good guy, imagine how hard it is to find a good lesbian."

That's the quote of the weekend.
It's tough all over, I suppose.
Fortunately/Unfortunately, however, (fortunately because, apparently, even though a good guy is ridiculously hard to find, a good lesbian is infinitely difficult to locate; unfortunately because I so often end up having to use 'he' and 'asshole' in the same sentence), I only like men. Although, last night (Saturday) I went to a club with my friend and found myself strongly desiring not to be asked for my number. Even if I couldn't find anything overtly wrong with the guy.

I don't mean to build up walls - but I'm not trying to keep people out or trying to 'see who cares enough to break them down' as much as I'm honestly protecting some poor unsuspecting male who I might just walk all over should he give me the chance to....And I don't want to be the one to 'ruin' anybody.

Besides, I'm 22 and I have the right to want to just go dance and leave unmolested.

Ask the Lord to put some super on your natural

Currently too many personal things are going on to write about the on an online journal, so I'll just stick with the above quote.

Well, maybe I'll talk about it just a little...(although I'm still stickin w/ my quote)
Apparently, it's in style for me to spend 95% of my time alone. All of sudden everybody's off working, studying or just being weird and not returning any of my calls (which is really hurting my feelings....) But anway, you've gotta live your own life without worring about what other people are doing . So, starting Saturday - over the course of June, July and August - I will be taking 1) a belly-dancing class (hottttt!) 2) a Hip-Hop dance class 3) french lessons 4) swim class/lessons (starting in July) 5) ballroom dancing lessons (starting also in July) 6) a latin dance class (starting in July), and 7) piano lessons - as soon as I find a teacher. Catch me if you can....

TV night with Stan

Watching "NEXT"
Guy: So what did you think of me when you saw me?
Girl: Thought you were a little Metro.
Guy: I'm a little Metro....Is that a bad thing?
Girl: It's not a good thing....How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Guy: Well, depends on the occaision. But...a few hours.
Stan: *GASP*
Girl: Next.
Stan: He had on three shirts, all three colars popped.

later in the show....
"I'm a great girl, and I'm not afraid to stand out in a crowd." (she smiles and bears f&%cked up gril) I turn to Stan - "Woo, damn - it's a good thing she doesn't mind standing out..."


Watching an advertisement for Tom Cruise's new movie....
"Stan, do you think Tom Cruise is really going to marry Katie Holmes?"
"Why not? He married Nicole Kidman."
"What?"
"Let me tell you somethin'. Tom Cruise is gay." (Dont matter who he marries)

still later in the show....
Me: "mmm...she's not too cute."
Stan: "Yeah...but I can see those two together."
Me: "Yeah, because they're both almost-cute."