My Desiderata

My Dictionary.com Word of The Day (yes. I get a word of the day in my email. Read: Nerd) was recently Desiderata. Actually, it was Desideratum (to quote dictionary.com - Something desired or considered necessary. Desideratum is from Latin desideratum, "a thing desired," from desiderare, "to desire.") but I’ve always liked the plural better. It makes me think of my desires and desired things. Plural. So I don’t have to choose just one.

Okay, so maybe I don’t want to choose one, but, lately, I've been thinking I should at least narrow it down a little bit. It's fun to pursue my desires, but I need to prioritize them - for real. I'm starting my second job this Sunday, and I have to teach FOUR HOUR LONG lsat classes (sometimes four and a half) twice a week - so very soon it will be time to stop the bullsh*t-late-night-stayin-up-for-no-reason. Not to mention, it's go-time on Financial Aid for HLS and I need to start making trips up to Cambridge to look for a place to live. I've gotta figure out what I'm doing for health insurance for the next three years, I've gotta defer my undergraduate loans, I need to save to pay my Student Contribution this fall and secure loans for the rest of it. These are things that I really haven't been paying enough attention to because I've been taking for granted how much time I have left to do them....But I can't live all my last moments here in Durham in preparation for leaving. And I want to travel - my best friend and I want to take a cruise; I want to visit friends in London this summer; I've been meaning to make road trips to ATL to chill with some of my girls from college. I want to meet new people and go new places (like I'll be doing in the fall) and have fun but at the same time I want to enjoy every moment of the familiar because soon I'll be dealing with so much of the unknown. I know I sound like a college senior....but it's true when they say a year really isn't that long and that it sneaks up on you. There's more I wanted to do in this time off. But, I must remember two lessons from the end of undergrad: First, this year is over - but, praise God, my LIFE isn't. People started doing crazy, stupid stuff at the end of senior year like "I’ve got to. It's my last chance to (insert foolishness here)." Seize the day, yes, but there's no need for me to act like life is ending. God willing, I'll be able to take that latin dance class, or take voice lessons, later if I still want to. Second, it's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to find the time to do Everything on a list of Everything I Wanted To Do Before I Leave when I'm given such a limited period of time. The trick I learned from last year is not to feel like I've failed because I can't check everything off of that list of 'what I planned to fill my time with this year', but rather just to make sure that what I actually end up filling my time with are things that I sincerely enjoy....
That, or filling out the FAFSA - cuz I really need to get that shit done.