Favorite Quotes

Here are some of my favorite quotes of all time: I'm going to keep adding to them as I remember them.


On being at Harvard Law:
"Oh yeah, you're excited to get into Harvard now, but wait until the random bouts of uncontrolled crying begin."
"It's just like high school...except here it's cool to be really smart."

On things that just make me smile
"The thot plickens!"
"I hope it reminds you of your brother...tall...and skinnnayyyyyyyyyyyy!"
"He should've known you weren't going to Ti-Ti the party."
"Let's hit it!"
"Who told her that was okay?"
"Say your prayers. Tell Jesus I said goodnight." "...Jesus, Stan says goodnight..."

On private jokes:
"Two teas, please."
"If his mom's a whore, does that make a difference?"
"...There's an ATM in here. Why is there an ATM in here?"
"*Scoff* One doesn't give God His blessing back."
"Imagine your dog eating ___'s cat. No mediation. And that statute's not good law anymore."
"I think it's a little more about the Crazy, and less about the spandex."

On catch phrases:
"Mistakes were made."
"Dead to me." (As in, 'where's such-in-such', 'I don't know. dead to me.')
"Really?"
"Dicta!"

On hitting the sauce:
"I woke up on my futon with no pants on, tangled up in a blanket."
"This morning was like Memento; your name is ___, you have a meeting at noon."
"Thank you for making sure I got home last night. I'm sorry for trying to snatch away from you and run across the street."


On (amusingly) ignorant comments: (disclaimer: none of these were said by me!)
"This is a birthday dinner and you're in a t-shirt."
"I got my white man back! I got my white man back!"
"There should be a code. If you give someone a black rose and a nickel, it means 'i don't like you'" (why's it gotta be black?)


On funny dialogue
A: Guess who's working at my firm this summer.
B: Jebus?
A: No, he's at the L.A. office.
B: He would.
~~~~~~~~~

A: I don't lie.
A: I omit.


On ridiculousness from class
"The country will be run by who??" "Big brother" "Oh. ...I thought she said Peanut Butter."
"...there are jurisdictions where they do do that kind of thing...." "Hee. She said 'doo-doo'"
"Sir, I only just emerged from the bathroom."

On dating/relationships:

"The Crazy could take ten years to come out."
"I would rather be an average-looking person who managed to cadge someone's affections than a hypothetically attractive one who spends each night alone for eternity."
"...It's amazing anyone ever gets together."
"If I stay in bed, I won't meet anyone I can eventually have sex with."
"You think it (love) happens all the time because you see it all around you. But really it's quite rare." *takes a sip of her drink*
"I'm no one's 'one-of-many'; I am always the main event."
"You're like the force that bends the other things around it out of their normal shape."
"It's like in crim - you have to interpret what he says thorugh the eyes of the reasonable, crazy person."
"Some people do things to distract themselves til 'the one' comes along. Some can't settle for anything less."
"Well, what is a 'nice guy'? A 'nice' guy just means they're charming. That's their thing they're good at; charm. It doesn't mean they have any kind of relationship skills."
"No, we can't be friends after he caused me all that trouble; that's like holding onto your Civil Procedure book for leisure reading."

On being hurt:
"It's hard to let go of hope when you let yourself hope so rarely."
"Be gentle with yourself." (Mama tells me this when I call her and I'm sad. 'Just relax today; be gentle with yourself.')
"All rocks cry sometimes; even rocks take a break and hum spirituals."

On getting over it:
"At the time, I thought it all happened because he's not the one. As opposed to he's not the one because of what happened. You know?"
"You have to stand like Jesus! Vulnerable to the world. Even when people stab you."
"...she decided to become
a woman
and even though
he refused to be a man,
she decided it was
all right."


On growing up
"You did a serious 'ugly duckling', Audrey. You should go on Oprah or something." - My brother
"When you're deciding what to do, 'don't just look for what the world needs. Do what makes you come alive - because the world needs people who are alive.'"

On friendship
"*Sigh* I wish she would stop flirting with him, because if his girlfriend notices and tries to fight her we'll have to have her back while we're in public. But when we get home, I'd be like 'what's wrong with you?!?'"
"I hope you're proud of me, Stan." "I am always proud of you."